Ten Things One Year of Marriage Has Taught Me

1. Never underestimate the influence of your family. It is indeed true that you “marry a family too.” As a couple, you will forever have part in the blessings and burdens each of your birth families bear.

2. There will always be people who know you too little, care about you too little, but talk too much about your life. They’re called busybodies. They’re not likable at all; but the good news is, they don’t have one bit of true bearing on your life.

3. Don’t compare. They may be friends, relatives, colleagues, or any other people in your life. They may always seem to have an easier life. Don’t compare. Comparison breeds pride, self-pity, or just sheer contempt. Don’t compare. Did I happen to mention not to compare?

4. Your spouse should be your very best friend. No person in the whole wide world will ever share experiences the way you two will from now on. What your spouse thinks, acts, and says should be in sync with how you do. Build unity.

5. Turn to God. When trials come, don’t talk behind your spouse’s back or spread rumors about your frustrations. Cast all your burdens upon the One who can truly love and bear your burdens eternally.

6. Ditch the pursuit of romance. Measuring marriage by romance is a self-destructive goal. Romance is what results from, not what begins, a solid relationship of marital love.

7. Be willing to step out of your comfort zone. In every new marriage, the husband or the wife will have to do certain responsibilities that their birth parent of the same gender never had to do. Allow your expectations to become flexible. Enjoy figuring out your roles and tasks together. Marriage is, at the end of the day, a partnership.

8. Adjustment is normal. No two individuals naturally agree in everything. Don’t let differences frustrate you. Work them out patiently—over days, weeks, months, or years.

9. Respect your spouse’s family traditions. Those traditions may seem strange or uncomfortable to you, but they’ve been around for a while in your spouse’s life. While you don’t have to embrace them, do respect them and participate when you can. Respect the elders’ habits, and start your own traditions with your spouse.

10. Live by God’s timeline. How we plan our life is usually different from how God plans it because He knows better. Don’t try to get ahead of God nor lag behind Him. Maximize your marriage with what He gives day after day.

The Right to Sin

Human rights, and the defense thereof, comprise the battle cry of many an international organization today. Indeed, many regions in the world, including those in my ancestral land, show inadequate respect for human rights. Innocent people are bullied, enslaved, or even sentenced to death by those who are socially or politically in power. Individuals encounter discrimination even when they do no wrong to deserve it. Yet what if they do indeed do wrong? Then we have a problem.

There is a thin line between granting basic human rights and condoning sinfulness in today’s world. Whereas slavery, unfair trials, and undue discrimination should be uprooted, many other issues that hide behind the mask of human rights do not merit the same treatment. Human beings—lovingly created in the image of God—have the right to be protected from sin. We have the right to be protected from physical abuse, from wrong accusations that lead to death sentences, and from denial of service based on our God-given ethnicities. I salute the historical heroes who have sacrificed much in their own lives in order to ensure those rights are met. Today, however, there is a growing movement in multiple nations to push the boundaries of human rights towards an ungodly agenda—a “right” to sin.

The individuals behind this agenda are crafty with their words. Abortion is no longer called murder, but a right to choose. Same-sex marriage is not properly identified as open sodomy, but as a right to equality. Behind the deceitfulness of these terms is the blasphemous belief that an act of deliberate sin can be a “right.” If Christians are not careful to see through this ungodly ideology, the next generation is in very grave danger. Once murder of unborn children and sinful application of sexuality become “rights,” other sins and crimes with more far-reaching consequences are merely years away from becoming “right.”

Please understand that I am not advocating any hatred towards those who believe differently than I do. Every human being born today is born a sinner. My loved ones and I are no exceptions. Just because someone has sinned or has the temptation to sin does not devalue him as a person. I despise homosexuality, but I do not disrespect the individuals who have sinned in this aspect. In the eyes of the extreme left, I am a “homophobe”—someone who believes in God’s definition of sexuality, someone who believes that God made men and women different for a reason, someone who believes the Bible contains God’s moral standard. I believe I am in no way better a sinner than people who choose homosexual lifestyles, but I am a villain in their eyes just for believing that they—with God’s help—can be capable of refusing to sin.

We are all sinners. I am, however, a sinner saved by grace; many others are not as fortunate to have come to that liberating salvation. In a mostly unsaved world, we have the right of protection from others’ sins—but not one of us have the right to sin.

Remembering Mrs. Schmuck

It was the fall semester of 2011. As I completed my Secondary English Education Internship at Pensacola Christian Academy, I heard the news: Mrs. Sandy Schmuck had died.

Mrs. Schmuck had always been a hero in my heart—the epitome of a Christian English teacher. Her love for people, for English, and for the Lord condensed into the beautiful person that she was. As an intern under Mrs. Baker, who had been an intern to Mrs. Schmuck herself, I felt the loss very directly. I taught 11^th grade English, Mrs. Schmuck’s “baby.” The notes that I taught from, the box I used to carry papers, and the visuals I used were all inherited from her. I cried hard upon the final realization that she would never come back to teach again.

My heart weighed heavy throughout my internship. Every time I sat down to copy notes from Mrs. Schmuck's literature books, sorrow welled in me.

On the last week of my internship, I reached the last page of the literature book. The last poem--"How Did You Die?" by Edmund Cooke--read in simple but profound lines:

Did you tackle the trouble that came your way
With a resolute heart and cheerful?
Or hide your face from the light of day
With a craven soul and fearful?
Oh, trouble's a ton, or a trouble's an ounce,
Or a trouble is what you make it,
And it isn't the fact that you're hurt that counts,
But only how did you take it?

You are beaten to earth? Well, well, what's that?
Come up with a smiling face.
It's nothing against you to fall down flat,
But to lie there--that's disgrace.
The harder you're thrown, why the higher you bounce;
Be proud of your blackened eye!
It isn't the fact that you're licked that counts,
It's how did you fight--and why?

And though you be done to the death, what then?
If you battled the best you could,
If you played your part in the world of men,
Why, the Critic would call it good.
Death comes with a crawl, or comes with a pounce,
And whether he's slow or spry,
It isn't the fact that you're dead that counts,
But only how did you die?

At the very end, Mrs. Schmuck had scribbled while still in good health: “I have fought the good fight. I have finished the course!”

Feelings welled within me once more. But this time, a sense of closure and pride replaced the usual sorrow. It's not the fact that she's dead that counts, but the grace with which she had died. She had fought her fight and won her race.

I rejoice in her crown of glory.