Six Great Books That Defined My Teenage Years

My mom taught me all my letters by the time I was two years old. I started to read, if I remember correctly, way before I turned four. It's been life-altering that I have been able to have the blessing of literacy ever since.

Having an Internet-free childhood meant that I grew up reading, a lot. We had television and cable eventually, but my parents were very strict about how much screen time we were allowed to have, particularly on school days. Those restrictions just meant that we had more time - to read and read some more.

And just because I'm turning thirty and feeling that my teenage years happened a lifetime ago, here is a list I want to share of six books (or series, in some cases, sorry I cheated) that shaped and defined who I am as a woman. I read them long ago, but their influences are still strong in my life today.

Some of these books may feel outdated now. Some of them have more archaic phrasing or seemingly antiquated values.

But I still stand by them.

And I hope young girls today can read them too - and be blessings of their wisdom as well.

1. Beautiful Girlhood by Mabel Hale. There are very few books written specifically for Christian teenage girls, and this is one of the best among those that have been done. I am blessed to have read it way before I read the world's warped versions of what a girl or woman ought to be. The book tackles very relevant topics for young teenage girls, even if they're not the most fun to talk about (sincerity and character, anyone?). My mom got me the book early on but had me wait until I was twelve to read it. That wait definitely made me feel proud that I had finally earned the right to read the book!

2. Authentic Beauty by Leslie Ludy. I am a supporter of almost everything the wonderful Leslie Ludy writes, but this is the one work from her that has shaped me the most. While I also love When God Writes Your Love Story by Leslie and her husband, this book on beauty standards and a longing for true love is what truly shaped my life and perspective. It helps too that the book tackles the very unique part of life that is young womanhood, in a distinctly modern way.

3. Boy Meets Girl by Joshua Harris. I know a lot of pastors and leaders swear by the culture-altering message in the sort-of-prequel I Kissed Dating Goodbye, and I agree that it was a game-changing book in so many great ways. What really helped me more, however, was Harris' second book: the one aptly subtitled "say hello to courtship." The practical, godly principles in the book shaped how I learned to handle my own dating season with my now-husband, and it helped me heal from the mistakes I've made in my own life. I would not be where I am and who I am without it.

And then we get to the fiction portion. Yehey!

4. Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen. I've never been subtle about my love for Austen works, and my tendency to be an "impertinent, headstrong girl" at times lends me so much resonance with the spirited Elizabeth Bennet in particular. How cool is it that she had to earn her right to a happy ending by changing her own perspectives? Who knew contemporary Regency England gentry had so many funny and witty similarities with modern Asian cultures?

5. Anne of Green Gables Series by L.M. Montgomery. There have been many adaptations of this over the years, some more faithful than others (okay, fine, most of them very unfaithful), but the Anne Shirley we get to know in the book is so much more than the sighing dreamy creature in some earlier adaptations or the defiant feminist in more recent ones. The original Anne is such a unique blend of charm and intelligence and silliness and warmth that there really has never been quite another character like her in all of literature. Her community's very wholesome, Christian setting is also such a refreshing difference from today's angsty teenage books!

6. The Chronicles of Narnia Series by C.S. Lewis. I have long lost track of how many times I've read the Chronicles of Narnia Series. The original copies my family owned were in literal tatters by the time my brothers and I were through with them. I started reading my first Narnia book at age 9, and I read and reread it and all the others all the way to adulthood. The theological and story-telling magic in each book are timeless and compelling. Once a king or queen of Narnia, always a king or queen!

May the Lord keep using these books to raise more young people for His glory.

Happy Wife, Happy Life?

I'm a wife, and I'm happy - most of the time.

According to the age-old adage, that means my husband should be happy- most of the time. Right?

Maybe.

When I'm happy, I'm easier to be around; and that fact probably makes my husband have an easier time at life, I'll admit.

But as a Christian woman, I don't want my husband to just be a genie catering to my every wish and fancy. I don't need a slave; I need a leader. And if my husband is going to be the spiritual leader of our marriage, as I want him to be (in my grown-up moments), then it's distinctly NOT his job to make me happy.

In fact, I'm thankful that he doesn't.

I'm thankful that when I want something that's bad for me, he advises me against it. I'm thankful that when I have a stupid idea (and that happens more often than I'd like to admit), he's around to be the voice of reason. I'm thankful that he knows me well enough, and is in a relationship permanent enough, to point out my flaws and show me that I'm not always right.

Does that make me upset? Uhm, yes. Does that make me give him a hard time? Hehe, yes.

But that makes him to be exactly the kind of husband God wants him to be - and the kind I need him to be. Despite my negative reactions, he does what his role demands of him; and I love him all the more for that.

Living in the thick of the matriarchal Filipino culture, it's ridiculously easy to think that women rule - that men are better off listening to their wives. It seems easier - right? Wives are happy; husbands are safe.

But that's not what a godly husband should be.

I'll say it frankly. A man who does not lead - a man who listens to his wife in everything, whose goal in life is to please his wife - is not a godly husband. He may look like a good husband to lots of people - obedient, compliant, and softspoken - but he is distinctly NOT the model of a Christian husband.

A good Christian husband exercises servant leadership. He cares and he guides. He provides and he sustains. He encourages, but he also rebukes.

I just happen to be lucky enough to be married to one.

I've heard fathers teach sons, and older men tell younger men, that the key to a happy life is to always take your wife's side and to acknowledge that she's always right.

That's a load of nonsense.

No human being is "always right," and marrying her doesn't qualify her for that label either.

I know some women might be upset at me for writing this, for "taking the man's side," so to speak. I'm sorry if my generic examples inadvertently offend. That's not my intention.

I don't take the man's side. I take God's side. I respect and honor what He designed marriage to be.

It's one man, one woman, one lifetime.

It's a leader, a helpmeet, and a commitment.

I don't always succeed in playing the role of a godly wife. I sometimes (i.e. often) take over things that are not my job. I reject the tasks my husband delegates to me, choosing instead to complain and lament. I know the model of a biblical marriage, but I seldom follow it completely.

I'm not perfect, my husband is not perfect, and our marriage is not perfect. No marriage is.

But that's why we need Him, right?

That's why Tim and I are incredibly blessed to have a biblical model to follow. We are blessed to know that God will look favorably upon a marriage where a man leads and a woman helps. We are happy to know that when the husband faithfully leads and loves, and the wife consistently respects and submits, we would be able to have a God-honoring marriage.

We've seen these principles applied, kept, and rewarded in many marriages around us. It's possible, people.

We've been given the blueprint of a truly happy marriage. Why follow anything else?

Happy God, happy marriage. And everybody wins.