There are times in
life when epiphany strike. There are also times in life when the lack of
epiphanies results in an epiphany itself—the realization that “I am doing
nothing.”
"What am I doing with my life?” I
say this question often, more often in jest than I should. This question
pervades my mind every time I see a person younger than I dominate world news.
I ask this question of myself every time I find myself in extreme boredom.
Today, however, the Lord impresses
upon my heart that the same motto I took upon myself when I was 16 should be
the same motto I follow at 26: Do hard things.
Doing hard things means exceeding
the expectations. Doing hard things means choosing what is good, right, and
important over what is selfish and trivial. Doing hard things means walking
where I should go rather than talking all about it. Doing hard things means
pushing myself out of my comfort zone.
As a teenager, doing hard things
included studying hard, serving in church, helping with household chores, and
refusing to indulge in temporal, inconsequential pursuits. As an adult today,
doing hard things results in managing all time and financial resources wisely,
pushing myself to be the best teacher I can be, being a supportive wife, and
being willing to always be learning.
There, I’ve said it—always be
learning.
For some reason, the learning
involved in teenage years, something so assumed and taken for granted, requires
a much more deliberate effort in adulthood. Learning requires humility.
Learning requires time. Learning requires the risk of making mistakes.
I’ll be honest, I don’t like
mistakes. I avoid new endeavors at all costs because I hate making mistakes,
especially when others can see those mistakes. Every time I try cooking a new
recipe, I pray extensively for God’s grace lest the food come out disastrous.
My cowardice is pathetic, I know; but it’s a real and constant struggle for me.
As a teacher, I often tell my
students that making mistakes is part of life. A mistake on a quiz could lead
to a corrected answer on a test. A mistake on a test could help one’s memory be
corrected in time for final exams. But how well am I applying the same
principle in my own life?
Learning should be a constant in the
Christian life. A pursuit of God and His kingdom can never end this side of
heaven. Whether it comes in the form of sharpening a spiritual discipline, helping in a new
ministry, reaching out to people in a new way, contributing to society with a
new skill, or as simple as mastering a new recipe—constant learning is inseparable
from a serious Christian walk.
And so I pray.
I pray that the Lord will remove my
fear of embarrassment and enable me to try new things for His glory. I pray
that the Lord will lift my eyes above the trifling frustrations in my life to
see the bigger picture of His kingdom. I pray that the Lord will give me a
commitment to excellence in every area of life He’s placed me.
I need to be a wife, sister, friend,
teacher, daughter, and daughter-in-law who constantly seeks to do hard things.
It won’t always be easy, and I might not always succeed—but it will always be
what I have to do.
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