Friday, June 17, 2011

Unqualified

I had no qualifications....but one.

The high ceiling towered over me as I walked into the grand auditorium. Four to five hundred faces turned to look at our mission team. I sported a smile as I glanced down at the program sheet in my subtly shaking hand. My lecture was first. After the vice-president of Tarlac Christian College ended her session next hour, my turn would be up.

I forced myself down the aisle, constantly nudging myself inside. As my teammates settled down on the front row, I clutched at the back of a chair as I felt my feet give way under my khaki skirt. I looked at the crowd again. No way, no way...there was absolutely no way I could do this. I had been sure before we left the States that I was ready for this lecture. I had my PowerPoint presentation, my outline, and my confidence. I was the graduating English education major from Asia. I had this under control...or so I thought.

There was no way I could do this. This was a teacher's conference in a prestigious college. These teachers, experienced teachers, each with his own classroom....why should they be listening to an inexperienced college senior from their own country? Whether by degree, experience, or age, I disqualified as a speaker.

I started to frantically mumble to all the teammates around me, "I'm scared. I'm scared. I can't do this." One by one, they prayed with me and for me. Reassuring hugs and touches kept me standing. But I was still scared.

I had only one qualification: God had asked me to do this. God has put me on this mission team to give this lecture on teaching English as a second language. That was the only qualification I had.

But as my teammate Jeremy told me later on, that was the only one I needed.

I don't know how that lecture went. I just know I spoke whatever God put in my heart to speak. I prayed for grace, and He gave plenty. All those hugs, knuckle-punches, and congratulations were extra tokens of His grace. The strength to do His will was enough of a reward.

For whatever task God gives to His servants...He qualifies them. His love overwhelms me. His grace still amazes me.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hi,happy new year!
Are you Rev. Danny Reyes's daughter?

Wenslyn said...

Oh, you know him? Who is this? =)

Anonymous said...

You're a good and godly girl ,i see you through your posts and poems!
May God lead you continuously in your life,
and may you get more and more love from our Heaven Father!
Bless you!