Thursday, February 14, 2008

Lucky in Love

Well, I'm not exactly lucky, I'm actually blessed. And I'm not in love, at least not in the world's terms. I know people mostly wouldn't dream of calling me lucky at this hour--a 19-year-old girl blogging alone on Valentine's Eve. Yet, I guess, I've always refused to see things two-dimensionally.

In matters of romance...

I am blessed, because I do not have materialistic parents. Although they want the best for their children, my parents do not over-value wealth. They have never tried to matchmake me with any rich guy, and they have never favored one admirer over another by materialistic standards. I am never pressured to marry for money, nor for all of the earthly comforts money could bring.

Then I am blessed because I have a loving family. Even if I am single, I'm still secure and loved. I do not need to use romance as an escape or relief from domestic woes.

I am blessed because I've always been taught to prepare for a husband, rather than long for a boyfriend. I am blessed because I was taught to save my first kiss, perhaps my first love, and all the rest while I still hadn't given them away.

And I've never noted this until some friends called it a blessing...since I'm brought up and prominent within a Christian circle, the guys who actually notice me are mostly Christians. I am not tempted to lower my religious beliefs because of non-Christians' romantic attention.

And most of all, I am blessed...for I have already found the love of my life. What romance do I need to long for, when I already have God's love in me? Anything else would merely be bonus. I only need His love.

Now, it would be wonderful to end my post here, in the spirit of a thankful and selfless Christian girl. Yet that's not the only side of me.

I'll be honest. I don't think like this all of the time. I'm human, I'm selfish, and I'm childish. There are still times, and quite often I'm afraid, when I'm overrun by discontentment, impatience, or jealousy.

Sometimes, I feel rebellious over my parents' principles. Sometimes, I get upset that godly matters (such as walking the path of ministry) would turn away a handsome and charming admirer or two. My heart often taunts my mind with many questions...

Howcome my best friends are of marriageable age, while I'm left behind? Howcome I can't have the gratification of romance now? Howcome people who are less prepared than I am for relationships actually have them...but I don't?

I know I can keep sane from these emotional self-inquisitions only by His grace and wisdom. I know that I am blessed. After all, I've stated so many reasons why I am. I also know that the best chapters of my lovelife, be it spent in falling in love with my future husband or in learning to serve Him as a single, are still yet to come.

I write this post as an offering of thanksgiving, and as a reaction to what people might say of my current position. Yet more than that, I write this also to remind myself, and maybe others like me, that we are already blessed.

We are nothing, yet He loves us. Even now, we are blessed. May I, may we all, always remain thankful, content, and faithful to Him.


Anonymous said...

Amen :)


Anonymous said...

What a powerful insight. May God's grace continue to shine upon you and keep you pure.