1. Never underestimate the influence of your
family. It is indeed true that you “marry a family too.” As a couple, you will
forever have part in the blessings and burdens each of your birth families
bear.
2. There will always be people who know you too
little, care about you too little, but talk too much about your life. They’re
called busybodies. They’re not likable at all; but the good news is, they don’t
have one bit of true bearing on your life.
3. Don’t compare. They may be friends, relatives,
colleagues, or any other people in your life. They may always seem to have an
easier life. Don’t compare. Comparison breeds pride, self-pity, or just sheer
contempt. Don’t compare. Did I happen to mention not to compare?
4. Your spouse should be your very best friend. No
person in the whole wide world will ever share experiences the way you two will
from now on. What your spouse thinks, acts, and says should be in sync with how
you do. Build unity.
5. Turn to God. When trials come, don’t talk behind
your spouse’s back or spread rumors about your frustrations. Cast all your
burdens upon the One who can truly love and bear your burdens eternally.
6. Ditch the pursuit of romance. Measuring marriage
by romance is a self-destructive goal. Romance is what results from, not what
begins, a solid relationship of marital love.
7. Be willing to step out of your comfort zone. In
every new marriage, the husband or the wife will have to do certain
responsibilities that their birth parent of the same gender never had to do.
Allow your expectations to become flexible. Enjoy figuring out your roles and
tasks together. Marriage is, at the end of the day, a partnership.
8. Adjustment is normal. No two individuals
naturally agree in everything. Don’t let differences frustrate you. Work them
out patiently—over days, weeks, months, or years.
9. Respect your spouse’s family traditions. Those
traditions may seem strange or uncomfortable to you, but they’ve been around
for a while in your spouse’s life. While you don’t have to embrace them, do
respect them and participate when you can. Respect the elders’ habits, and
start your own traditions with your spouse.
10. Live by God’s timeline. How we plan our life is
usually different from how God plans it because He knows better. Don’t try to
get ahead of God nor lag behind Him. Maximize your marriage with what He gives
day after day.
