I had no qualifications....but one.The high ceiling towered over me as I walked into the grand auditorium. Four to five hundred faces turned to look at our mission team. I sported a smile as I glanced down at the program sheet in my subtly shaking hand. My lecture was first. After the vice-president of Tarlac Christian College ended her session next hour, my turn would be up.
I forced myself down the aisle, constantly nudging myself inside. As my teammates settled down on the front row, I clutched at the back of a chair as I felt my feet give way under my khaki skirt. I looked at the crowd again. No way, no way...there was absolutely no way I could do this. I had been sure before we left the States that I was ready for this lecture. I had my PowerPoint presentation, my outline, and my confidence. I was the graduating English education major from Asia. I had this under control...or so I thought.
There was no way I could do this. This was a teacher's conference in a prestigious college. These teachers, experienced teachers, each with his own classroom....why should they be listening to an inexperienced college senior from their own country? Whether by degree, experience, or age, I disqualified as a speaker.
I started to frantically mumble to all the teammates around me, "I'm scared. I'm scared. I can't do this." One by one, they prayed with me and for me. Reassuring hugs and touches kept me standing. But I was still scared.
I had only one qualification: God had asked me to do this. God has put me on this mission team to give this lecture on teaching English as a second language. That was the only qualification I had.
But as my teammate Jeremy told me later on, that was the only one I needed.
I don't know how that lecture went. I just know I spoke whatever God put in my heart to speak. I prayed for grace, and He gave plenty. All those hugs, knuckle-punches, and congratulations were extra tokens of His grace. The strength to do His will was enough of a reward.
For whatever task God gives to His servants...He qualifies them. His love overwhelms me. His grace still amazes me.
